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Pelops’s Reluctant Resolutions

 The ancient Greeks didn't celebrate the New Year the way we do today, but that doesn't stop Hermogenes from pestering his employer to get with the times and draft a list of resolutions . . .


Once again, Hermogenes has been badgering me. This time it is about a new fad that has been (according to my disciple) sweeping the city state. I have certainly never heard of it before, but Athenians are, at times, an odd bunch, so it is possible such a thing may, in fact, be quite popular among them. The gist of it involves creating a list of “resolutions” with the aim of achieving certain goals and objectives. Why one should need a list for this is beyond me, but Hermogenes is (despite certain character flaws) a good lad and an excellent disciple, and so, to please Hermogenes I shall spend the month of Pyanepsion working on inscribing a list of these “resolutions.”

  1. Send Hermogenes to the market to procure the newly available kraken.
  2. Experiment with the rare delicacy to create culinary wonders with which to astonish future clients and their guests.
  3. Begin to compile a list of potential clients.
  4. Send Hermogenes to the market to obtain more kraken and some hand fans.
  5. Replace brazier.
  6. Air out kitchen.
  7. Make an offering to Hestia, patron goddess of hearths, cooking, meals, and banquets.
  8. Experiment with kraken again.
  9. Send Hermogenes for more fans and several large perfume cones.
  10. Go to the market to personally select more kraken.
  11. Cook the kraken.
  12. Purchase more perfume cones.
  13. Obtain more of the vile kraken.
  14. Learn how to cook the stuff.
  15. Get still more kraken.
  16. Consult with Dionysus re: kraken issues.
  17. Try once again to cook the miserable, thrice-damned sea monster.
  18. Stop working on stupid resolution lists that have no bearing on anything and just waste one’s time when there are far more important tasks at hand such as discovering a way to prepare the sodding, god-cursed kraken so one might possibly obtain a few additional clients—not to mention hold one’s head up in public, enter and win the Bronze Chef competition, and prove to the despicable Sicilian once and for all who is the better chef!

you can read more Pelops with:

Food for the Gods

Kraken Bake

Karen Dudley has worked in field biology, production art, photo research, palaeo-environmental studies and archaeology. She has written four environmental mysteries and a several wildlife biology books for kids. Her Epikurean Epics, including the Aurora-nominated Food for the Gods, and the forthcoming Kraken Bake are historical fantasy novels set in ancient Athens. Born in France, she now lives in Winnipeg.

Last modified onTuesday, 14 January 2014 09:43

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